Bela Fleck and the Flecktones

Nathan Phillips Square
Toronto, Ontario
June 30, 2004

The most fucked up crowd situation I've ever seen. The whole area in front of the stage was filled with people sitting on the floor. I walk in and there's no fuckin way I'm sitting on the floor. We're talking concrete floor, not grass, no seats, no benches. $30 and a FLOOR SEAT literally. NO... Not me Pal. I walk up and lean on the front of the stage. I'm sure everyone who diligently listened to the arseholes running THIS show must have looked at me and thought, what kind of ASSHOLE is that? An asshole that aint sittin on the fuckin floor is what I am. SO, as we're waiting for the show to start and I'm pointing out a bunch of camera tips to my buddy Rob who has taken an interest in shooting concerts, this "photographer" walks over and tells us to sit down. NO. I say. There's no chairs. Rob looks at the guy and gives him a look like I don't think so. The guy then goes on to say how I should "act like a real photographer and kneel down when I take a shot". I laugh. He's the one standing there with a REAL nice camera but has to use a flash for every shot cuz he don't know what the fuck he's doing.

There's plenty of light in the house and he's got the equipment necessary to shoot without a flash but alas, you can BUY a camera but you can't BUY the knowledge on how to USE it. And he calls ME an amateur. After the opening act, the crowd all got up and pushed towards the stage. We were all there to see the Flecktones tear it up and none of us were about to SIT on our asses while they did it. Thank god everyone else pushed forward otherwise I'd be fighting with the Nazi photographer to get a couple shots and a good line of sight. I honestly think the life was sucked out of the crowd because of the lame rules at the venue and the Nazi photographer forcing everyone to sit on their asses. When Bela came on, the crowd didn't recover either, so their set suffered from lack of enthusiasm. Not their fault, not the crowd's either. You need that give and take to make for a real successful show. The band giving their all to you and you giving it back to get the transfer of energy to build to a raging crescendo which IS the conclusion to a great show. There was none of this...

It fizzled and died out somewhere around the drum solo where some ARSEHOLE walked into the crowd all pissed off cuz he couldn't see from his TABLE some ten rows back. He's carrying a chair and he plops it down right behind me and in between these to smokin chicks and tries to argue his point that he's paid $30 and will move his chair if we ALL sit down so he can see. I turn around and laugh. The chicks are all over him with hatred. Even pulling the low but so effective "don't TOUCH me"... He finally shut his ass up and watched the show as we passed his chair out over the crowd to security. Not another PEEP outta that fucker thank god... but still... by then the happiness which usually permeates every Bela Fleck show had drained out of too many people and it ended without any of their encores being played. Afterwards they showed up at a tent for a signing so we got a couple photos signed by Victor and a setlist that buddy snagged right after the show was signed by the whole band. The first shot below was taken by Rob, the guy I went to this concert with. I must be getting OLD... I've got a protégé now!! He did fuckin awesome for a first try don't ya think?

Photo Credit: Rob Wells

So Buddy offers me a ticket to come and see one of his favorite bands. He tells me the name. I wince. He tells me the best bass player in the world is in this band. An eyebrow raises. I can appreciate a damn fine bass player. How about the rest of the band? Incredible musicians. My interest is piqued. The ticket is free. Alrighty then... I'm in. I trust this guy though. Last shows we went to see were Primus and Big Sugar. If this guy tells me there's a bass wizard involved, I believe him. He's a bass player too. A fuckin smokin' one at that. We drive to Stinkville (Hamilton, Ontario) and pull into a parking lot somewhat resembling a crater. I fear for Buddy's car. He doesn't seem too worried so why should I? We stood in a lineup featuring some of the most bizarre characters and concert goers I've ever seen. The crowd was a real mix. Grandpa n Grandma with their grown-up kids, couple black dudes, couple white dudes, couple multi-coloured dudes. Teeny boppers. It was like a box of Bits n Bites. We even met this crazy bastard in line who was going for the Guinness Book of World Records. Most concerts attended to by one asshole.

He was up in the nine hundred and something shows range. Before we split up in the line-up I asked if he would be at the Aerosmith show a week later. He said "seeya there". I thought, yeah whatever... 15,000 assholes and I'm gonna meet up with you? Sure enough he was sitting about 4 rows down from me! I saw him after Cheap Trick left the stage! The band didn't mind us shooting so we got inside and while everyone else ran for the bar, I headed over to the front of the stage and positioned myself on an equipment case right in front of the bass player. Pole position. I don't remember a single tune they played cuz it just sounded like 4 guys soloing all night long. Sure they'd pause in between solos but cut right back into it again. No singing. There was only one song that the guy on the "drumitar" sang. Yes... DRUMITAR. This is an instrument invented by this virtuoso drummer who calls himself Futureman. All the way up and down the neck of this THING resembling a guitar were little touch pads which fired off another drum or symbol sound. The guy could do amazing wicked solos with one hand and then the other hand banged away on a real drum kit set up next to him.

Bela Fleck himself played a menagerie of banjos that were piped through so many effects you couldn't tell it was a banjo half the time. Amazing player though. Then there's this crazy, insane horn player. Jeff Coffin. Flute, oboe, sax... whatever else. This guy was incredible to watch and listen to. During his big solo he grabbed two saxes, an alto and a tenor I believe, and started wailing on them both at one time!! Of course he spit all over the front row... but I was in front of the bass player so I didn't get the free shower. Last but not least, Victor Wooten, the amazingly incredible, bring a tear to your eye, make you weak in the knees, bass player showed us the meaning of virtuoso by performing jaw dropping bass runs and solos that left you shaking your head in amazement to the point you forgot to clap for the guy. Entranced. I actually do remember the name of one of their songs. Poindexter. Dedicated to all the geeks out there like myself who just don't fit in anywhere but are altogether so special in their own little way.

Fuck you.

Start calling me Poindexter and I'll kick ya in the nuts.