KISS

Ok.. this is really long and not necessarily very nice. So if you don't want to read someone slam the fuck outta KISS, then just scroll down... way down... and look at the pics instead.

I used to be the biggest KISS fan in the world. Then I woke up after 35 years. Sure I'll go see them if they come back to Canada ever again. But only if they have different costumes for me to shoot. Lets just back up a bit and I'll tell you my KISS story. When I was a wee lad in grade four, my buddy's sister pulled out the Destroyer album and played it for me. More than the music, the LOOK caught my attention. I thought they were like super heroes come to life. I had no concept of what a rock group was and then KISS set the standard for many years to come. If the band had normal looking dudes in it, fuck em, they weren't ROCK STARS. If the band didn't do crazy shit like blow fire, spit blood, shit razorblades or blow themselves up, fuck em, they weren't rock stars either. If the band had 2 blond guys and a red headed fucker, fuck em, they weren't rock stars. If someone was wearing glasses in the band or was just plain butt ugly, fuck em, they were CLEARLY not ROCK STARS. How ironic that Gene is THEE ugliest fucker in Rock n Roll... ever. Well, it's gotta be a toss up between him and Ace anyway. So it took me the better part of the 70's and early 80's to shed that whole image of what a rock star was supposed to be.

I also spent every fuckin cent I earned on KISS shit. Fuckin KISS cards, KISS records, KISS lunchboxes, KISS pins, KISS 8-tracks, KISS magazines, and most of all, KISS posters. I bought every KISS photo and poster I could find. My room was a wall to wall KISS nightmare. These guys held nothing back when it came to making a buck. Capitalism at it's finest.. So in the 80's KISS started fucking up their shit big time. Line up changes, musically directionless albums, and ego started cutting a once pure and potent drug into a diluted shadow of it's former existence. I mean when Gene came out onstage during the Asylum tour dressed like my grandmother on acid, I knew it was really over then. Gene should have just come out of the CLOSET at that time and it would have ALL MADE SENSE, but NO. This is when he starts telling us he's fucked over 2000 women and has a photo of every one of them to PROVE it!!! I shook my head and wished for the olden days. Then the olden days happened!!!! They announced their big bad triumphant return with the original line up!!!! I was elated. I think I had a hard-on for months waiting for them to show up so I could finally LIVE my photo fantasy of being able to SHOOT KISS in full makeup and costumes!!!!! And shoot them I did. As you'll see below, I saw KISS five times in a few years and the pics got better every time. I became the biggest KISS fan in the world again. I don't care what ANYONE says, KISS without makeup just wasn't KISS to me at all. They were on vacation...

Now I'm gonna stop right there... anyone who has actually read my web site before in the past, in particular, THIS review, you know and I know, it went a lot longer and got into a lot more detail on how much of a dick certain people with albums named after their ass can be. But I'm not gonna slam that old boy any more. I worshipped the guy like a God at one point, then I grew up. Then I had a buddy who was an insider in the KISS camp and I learned from him what it was all about. Not that he came right out and TOLD me how much of a bunch of dicks some of these people were, but because he became one of them. Instantly. And then I knew... he'd become a product of his environment and the guys he looked up to the most fell apart for him as they did for me. That said. I still love hearing some old KISS tunes. I mean these guys really rocked in the 70's. There was nobody else who put on a show like these guys and ripped your face off with their brand of heavy music. Not only that, they were the underdog. Even though they sold more albums than anybody back then... and I mean anybody... they were spit on by the general grown up public and that made them the icon for the young little guy like me. I can honestly say KISS pulled me through many a shitty day and gave me strength beyond anything anybody else could have given me and for that I am extremely grateful. BUT... here we are 30 years later and the thing that finally got my goat and needled at me over the past 15 years was the drivel that kept erupting from Gene's mouth. He single handedly made it embarrassing for me to admit I'm a KISS fan. I don't want anyone thinking I'm actually buying into anything Gene has to say these days. It's like stupid commercials. I'll go out of my way to avoid a product with a real fuckin dumb commercial. I don't want someone seeing me standing there being Mr. Product Placement for the moment and have someone thinking to themselves, you bought that Kit Kat because you bought into that stupid commercial that's being overplayed didn't you. Not me baby. I aint being the face that proves that all that commercial psychology works. I'll fuckin starve to death before I bend over n let someone fuck me like that. And THAT is why I find it so hard to even admit I like KISS anymore. Sure if I run into an army buddy (KISS Army that is) then I know I can let my guard down and talk about KISS for a bit but to the general public that I meet on the street? No way. KISS is an exaggerated joke. They can't even piece together the original lineup anymore to go on tour, they gotta hire stand ins... that's why you don't see Beatles reunions people. Half the band won't be there so forget about it!!

Anyway... I'm done yapping like a fuckin asshole... check out the pics!