Review and Photos: Mike Forbes
Good Photos: Igor Vidyashev

“So you think you’re a Romeo.  Playing a part in a picture show.  Take the long way home.”...

How many times have you heard this song?  Really.  If you’re one of those really old people over 40, probably hundreds of times.  I was thinking about this the other day.  How geeky, yet cool would it be to be able to tap into your brain and download all the information you’ve ever registered in your lifetime.  The amazing things we could come up with.  The amazing things we’d remember.  The totally useless bullshit we could pull out and throw around in conversation like a human C-3PO.

“Hey guys, did you know I’ve heard that song in it’s entirety exactly 5000 times?!  Oh yes and did you know that I’ve heard it on 88 different radio stations?  I could name them all right now…”  Probably a good thing we can’t do that cuz the murder rate would rise drastically.

Anyway, since I was a kid, as far back as I can musically remember, Supertramp was there.  I used to listen to the radio constantly.  I know my parents bought me some kids records and whatnot, but the stuff I really liked was adult rock n roll.  So when my dad handed me a box of albums containing a great assortment of late 60’s/early 70’s albums like Zeppelin “III”, Hendrix’s “Are You Experienced”, some Creedence, Stones, Janice Joplin, the Standells,  and best of all, the shit I played til the grooves wore out, the Beatles “Sgt. Peppers”, “Abbey Road” and “Let It Be”, I realized later that those albums schooled me in rock n roll.  It set the bar as to what rock n roll was all about.

Right from the beginning I didn’t even like listening to those kids songs cuz I thought they were totally gay.  And by “gay” I mean the 70’s/80’s definition that had absolutely nothing to do with sexual preference, whereby anything undesirable was considered “gay”.  Well any song sung by a buncha whiny snotfaced kids was definitely gay in my books.  So to the radio and that box of albums, I turned.

Yeah there was a lotta gay music on the radio too but it was different.  It was meant for teenagers and adults.  And teenagers were cool.  They knew everything.  They wore Kiss t-shirts. They were all tough guys. My babysitter had awesome big boobs that I “accidentally” bumped into several times a night. They smoked and hung out at the pool hall. They were allowed to swear and they could do anything they wanted.  And they knew what music was the coolest.  Queen, Heart, Aerosmith, Nazareth, ELO, April Wine, Led Zeppelin, Thin Lizzy, Foreigner, the Eagles, AC/DC, Boston… man the list was endless.  So much awesome music and Supertamp was right there in the middle of it all.

I pulled into the Molson Amphitheatre parking lot half hour before showtime, figuring I had plenty of time to screw around, check out the scenery and pick up my reviewer pass.  The line up stretched from the Will Call booth all the way back over the bridge that crosses Lakeshore Boulevard and it moved so fuckin slow a snail would have moved faster and that’s no word of exaggeration.  I just took one look at the line up and laughed.  I sat down and watched over the next half hour as a chick dressed all in purple moved about 20 feet towards the Will Call booth and I couldn’t help but think what kind of a fuckshow this was.

Whoever’s idea it was to sell 9 shows for $99 online, and then only open ONE booth to service people picking up their tickets, should get a good kick in the nuts.  Note to self:  Be in the parking lot of the Molson Amphitheatre at least 2 hours before showtime.  Note to the 4000 people who bought tix online and then showed up half hour after doors opened to pick em up:  If you don’t have the ability to print your tix when you order them, DON’T.

There was no way I was gonna jump into that line up.  So I thought to myself, I can hear the show just fine from where I am. How about I just sit here with these poor saps and go in at the very end of the lineup to get my review ticket.  I did it just to see how much of the show these people were gonna miss.

I sat down at 7:30 and waited til 9:30 before I shuffled into the back of the line to pick up my pass.  It was at this point that I FINALLY recognized one of the songs Supertramp played!  “Give A Little Bit” and then two songs later, “Raining Again”.  And thank God it didn’t rain cuz one of the last times I was at the Molson Amphitheatre for the Scorpions, the skies opened up and literally drenched us photographers as we made our way into the venue.

So I got to my seat just in time to start hearing all the cream of the crop of Supertramp.  Now I have to admit, I only ever bought 2 Supertramp albums.  “Breakfast In America”, which I barely touched, and one of the “Greatest Hits” albums that I spun so often my girlfriend at the time dumped me.  So I really only knew the tunes that were played on the radio constantly, and Supertramp handed em right to me on a little platter complete with orange juice and a tin o’ kippers.  What the hell are kippers?  Well I don’t know but apparently we all have em for breakfast cuz we’re all millionaires.

Rick Davies, the only remaining half of the original duo Hodgson/Davies writing team, seated behind his signature Wurlitzer piano, announced that there was a bit of a kerfuffle on Lakeshore Blvd. and that it was all blocked off.  He went on to say that a crowd of disgruntled Blue Jays fans were blocking the road and that we’d have to “Take The Long Way Home” to which the band broke into beautifully.

I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a Wurlitzer close up but it is quite the funny sight to be honest.  It looks like the lamest excuse for a piano ever invented, largely because of the 70’s looking metal kitchen table legs they’re propped up on.  Seriously, the damn thing looks like if you took away the piano and slapped down a piece of veneer covered particle board, you’d be sitting at your old kitchen table with the over sized wooden fork and spoon décor hanging on the paisley papered walls of the 70’s.  But the sound is so distinct it really was the heart of Supertramp’s signature sound.

The band conjured up another old favourite, “Bloody Well Right” as long time saxophonist, John Heliwell, held up a megaphone with the words RIGHT emblazoned on one side and QUITE RIGHT on the other.  This was about the most spectacular scenery to behold, other than the age old beach chair and umbrella setup as the show really lacked any visuals worth speaking of.  You have to realize I am totally spoiled when it comes to concerts as I’d recently seen Kid Rock blow the roof off the Air Canada Centre and had my scenery sensors set to overload at the Alice Cooper show I’d attended not even a month ago.

The band soldiered on through a Wurlitzer breakdown during singer/keyboardist Gabe Dixon’s version of “The Logical Song”, which by the way I thought he pulled off very nicely despite the breakdown of ole Wurly.  I guess that’s what happens when you rely on 40 year old equipment to drive your tunes every night.  Thankfully the crew was right in there with another one and before the song was finished, Gabe bounced from the broken piano, to a giant white grand, back to the replacement Wurly without missing a beat.

It was at this time, I got a tap on the shoulder from some bizarre chick yelling at me to sit down. She pointed at the stuffy old couple sitting behind me with scowls and arms folded whining that they couldn’t see.  The guy looked like he wanted to kill me so I said to him “man it’s a CONCERT!!!” and I pointed to all the people in front of me and all around us who were dancing in the isles and waving their arms in the air but his sneer only deepened into his wrinkled old face.  I couldn’t help it, I had to say something to the geriatric old bastard.  I leaned into his ear and said, “ you don’t get out very often do you?!”.  His reaction told me no, he doesn’t.

During the next song, the same weirdo chick came up and put her arm around me, turned me around and tried to get me on someone’s video camera.  She was trying to kiss my cheek and rub her giant sloppy melons on me so I pushed her away and turned to the cute blonde girl beside me who was clearly there by herself and begged her to be my wife for 5 minutes.  I told the Slopapotamus to back off, that my wife isn’t impressed and she finally did. Thanks nice little blonde lady!  You saved my life!

The band appropriately fired up “Goodbye Stranger” before they took a bow and left the stage.  After 5 minutes, they came back to a roaring ovation for the old faves, “School” and “Dreamer”.  Another couple of classic tunes that stand the test of time.  At this point my wife of 5 minutes, left the show and the Slopapotamus was back for more.  She tried to put her arms around me and I pushed her away again saying “you know, you’re really being an asshole!”.  Well at this she started bawling!  I mean tears streaming down her face and wailing that she couldn’t believe someone called her an asshole!

I know Supertramp didn’t do this to me but man did that chick ever put a damper on the show!  They finished off with “Crime of the Century”, which was played completely in the dark and the band disappeared backstage before the house lights came on.