The Hawk Rocks the Park
Harris Park, London, Ontario
July 23, 2008

I never actually owned a Ted Nugent studio album.  At the age of eight when faced with a choice between any album and a Kiss album, Kiss always won.  So even when I stood before the deadly album covers, that sometimes dictated my choice, like Uncle Ted’s “Weekend Warriors”, “State of Shock” or the completely disturbing “Scream Dream”, I still opted for the 4 clowns as opposed to the gun wielding, guitar slinging, freaky hippy guy. I did however own every medium of "Great Gonzos" available.  8 Track, Cassette, Album, CD and now MP3.

I remember the first time actually listening to a Ted Nugent album.  My dad took me out to a bush camp for a week.  No, not a pussy camp.  Bush camp.  I lived in Nelson, B.C. and my dad was a heavy duty mechanic so he often found himself in the middle of butt fuck nowhere, off in the mountains, fixing heavy equipment for days or weeks at a time.  One time he took me with him, probably to give my mom a break that summer. 

So one night I was lurking around the camp after dark and I stumbled upon a couple guys smoking some sweet smelling cigarette.  I’d never seen anyone actually share a whole smoke before but just before they finished, I popped out of the bush scaring the living shit outta them, causing the one guy to flick his roach away.  The one guy was pissed, he chewed me out for sneaking around camp like that and gave me a stern warning about bears in these parts telling me I could be their next meal. 

A few minutes later they came into the rec trailer where I was sitting listening to the radio.  The one guy asked what kind of tunes I liked and I told him Kiss rules.  He popped Uncle Ted’s “Double Live Gonzos” into the tune box and told me to get ready for some REAL music.  I liked it a lot.  Partly because I was sitting there with two grown adults who were talking to me like a peer of theirs but also because Ted’s guitars had already hooked me and now were sinking in deeper.  I still remember the intro to “Wang Dang Sweet Poontang” where he mentioned the ole “Nashville Pussy” and then announced if “anybody wants to get mellow, they can turn around an get the fuck outta here”.  I suddenly thought Ted Nugent was the coolest human on earth.  Kiss didn’t talk like that!! 

In 1981, a buddy of mine got Ted’s “Great Gonzos” album for his birthday.  He didn’t appreciate Mr. Nugent the way I did and he actually gave me the album a couple days later.  I spun the shit outta that record for about two years straight.  Sure I listened to all kinds of other stuff but “Great Gonzos” never left the turntable.  To this day, the two songs from that album that remain so firmly entrenched in my brain for two completely different reasons, are “Stranglehold”, and “Wango Tango”. 

“Stranglehold”, because to me this song epitomizes, defines and is the absolute representative of all 70’s classic rock.  “Wango Tango” is a time stamp.  A tune that takes me back to an exact moment of time, a time that I love or hate remembering, I think of as a time stamp.  “Wango Tango” takes me back to a school trip that I still love thinking back to.  Not a care in the world, traveling the countryside in a chartered bus with a bunch of my closest friends and a great soundtrack, it was one of the highlights of my youth. There was actually another song from that trip that got time stamped and that was “Cars” by Gary Numan.  It was like a battle of the old vs. the new, not unlike that hair metal vs. grunge battle that raged in the early 90’s.  Only difference is, hair metal showed up to the gun fight with a knife. 

Met a good bunch of people backstage and in the pit at this show.  I love meeting decent people at a show.  I’ve been to shows where there is NOBODY backstage to hang out and yap with other than crew and they’re busy.  So you end up yapping with a security guy, a paramedic or some front row fans hanging over the barricade. I’ve been to some shows where the only other photographer is a total dickhead and thumbs his nose at you because he has better equipment than you do.  Pffft.  I aint in no contest man.  Lots of times I’ve helped out photographers in the pit who have no experience whatsoever.  I couldn’t imagine being a dick to some other person who’s standing there with a great big shit eatin grin on their face saying “hi”. 

They said Uncle Ted wasn’t feeling good. Him and Mick, the drummer, weren’t feeling too good as they’d caught some foreign flu bug over in France.  How can you avoid it?  With 125 million people streaming through your life wanting a handshake, an autograph, or a peck on the cheek, someone’s bound to show up fighting some flu bug and carelessly pass it on to a guy who’s trying to entertain the masses.  You know these fuckin bastards.. they show up to work drippin snot, coughin and sneezin all over your lunch and the next thing you know, you’ve got their festering disease ravaging your body.  Well fuck them!  Stay at home! Anyway, they SAID Ted wasn’t feeling good but you’d have never known.  Ted takes pretty good care of himself so his version of feeling shitty is the equivalent of my best day health wise.

The other thing is, Ted’s a pro.  When it comes to putting on a show, he’s always been top notch.  That’s why he’s still filling venues to this day and helping to define the term ‘longevity’.  I’ve always said it: The cream rises to the top and stays there.  The shit, takes a tour straight down the tube after 15 minutes of stinkin up the place.  Well Uncle Ted’s no exception to the former statement.  Right from the very beginning of his career, Nugent has brought people to their feet and to their knees with his brand of straight up, in your face, rock n roll. 

His carefully selected band mates are also top notch musicians.  Mick Brown, the co-founder of Dokken, has seen his share of the stage and then some. He’s still got a few things cooking with Dokken and seems certain to get back out on the road with Don some day but for now he’s content touring with one of rock’s legends.  His drumming was bang on too.  All puns intended.  He’s been touring with Uncle Ted about 4 or 5 years now so he’s got Nugent’s stuff down pat. 

I asked Greg Smith, bassist, what other bands he’s been with and I’ve never heard so many names dropped on me in my life.  Greg helped me pick my jaw back up off the ground after he laid his list on me:  Alice Cooper, Ritchie Blackmore, Blue Oyster Cult, Dokken and Alan Parsons just to name a few.  I had just finished telling him how lucky he was to be playing with Ted Nugent and he said, “Lucky, is the guy who buys a million dollar lottery ticket”.  He didn’t come right out and say it but he shoulda just told me to fuck off.  Luck’s got nothing to do with it at this point in his career!  That boy’s earned his stripes through numerous tours of duty. 

The three piece unit hit the stage with high energy and guns blazin pulling out one of my favourite tunes of all time “Wango Tango” to kick off the festivities.  I was hoping for a great big rant in the middle of that tune but I didn’t get it.  Must have been the French Flu that was floating around.  Either way, just seeing Ted go nuts to “Wango Tango” live is enough to put a smile on my face.  Again I found myself in the position of do I shoot the damn show or do I rock out? Like usual, I got a little bit of both in.  Following up “Wango” he pulled another oldie outta the bag, “Free For All”.  Ted showcased a load of his old stuff in this set which was fine by me.  I love hearing the classics.. the stuff that got me into Ted in the first place. 

This being the first “Hawk Rocks the Park” I’ve shot, I gotta say, Ted ROCKED that park and everyone in it.  If you want your socks rocked off, you gotta get your ass out to a Ted Nugent show before he says fuckit and goes on a permanent hunting trip.  Any serious concert goer who hasn’t witnessed the legend that is Ted Nugent is missing out on one of the best showmen to ever hit a stage.

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